If you have ever been on an anti-depressant, you know it can take a while to decrease the dose – or to come off of it completely. I have done this several other times, but this time, it’s difficult. Not in a bad way. I finally realized that I AM doing better and I don’t need the same amount of medication. This isn’t to say that I don’t agree with medication in general, but for me personally, it has numbed me so much over the years and made me SO tired. People give (and still do!) me a hard time about sleeping too much – EVERYONE. My family, friends, etc. etc. etc. But, after a weekend of withdrawals (on accident), I realized, I may be a completely different energetic person once I am able to come off of it!
Yes, the first time was an accident. I didn’t plan accordingly and didn’t pick up a prescription thinking it would all be “ok.” WELL, I couldn’t sleep ALL weekend and I was up all hours of the night. If you know me well, you know this isn’t me at all. My heart was racing, I was super anxious, and there was only one reason why. So, after talking with my doctor, I decided to start a decrease in a normal, healthy, LONG way. It takes about 6-8 weeks (only cutting back by 1/4th) for your body to not notice a difference.
Adding a decrease in medication plus “the most wonderful time of year” makes me anxious. The Christmas season can be a time for stress, anxiety, sadness, frustration, hurry, loneliness, disappointment, overworking, overeating, over drinking, and overspending. There’s SO much to do! Shopping, cooking, cleaning, parties, travel, crowds, not to mention the overload of ads telling us everything we “should” have, expectations, the fear of failure, interactions with people we may not always get along with, and the ingestion of sweets, treats, drinks, and extra calories. YIKES.
Don’t get me wrong, I do love this time of year, but for the wrong reasons. I LOVE shopping, but I am in the process of trying to minimize that and remain on a budget! I need to focus on giving to others instead of the things that I want or can’t have (a daily struggle my friends). Materialism is at an all-time high this time of year, and it makes me want everything. That is NOT what Christmas is about!!! My flesh and selfish desires rear their ugly heads. Even without looking at price tags, I automatically want the most expensive thing. #BougieSinceBirth. So, this is going to take a lot of self-control and accountability on my end.
Family makes me anxious. Yes, family. Family gatherings are where I know a lot of my triggers. I don’t want to cause conflict, I try to control what others think, and usually, my anxiety gets the better of me and I become overwhelmed and irritable. The past two weeks have been a little crazy – I have been so focused on ME, and I haven’t spent nearly enough quiet time with Jesus or abiding in Him. This greatly affects my mood, how I interact, how I react… everything. He is the first person I need to surrender myself to every single morning.
You know what else is hard? This blog. Instagram. Social Media. It’s the time of year that I am supposed to posting 2-3 times a day and be super active on social media. I can’t. I simply cannot do it, not if I am going to remain sane. It is HARD. I want to help, encourage, and love people – and fashion is a big part of that. But, I have more to say than what I wear. Are people really being encouraged? I hope so. So, I guess you could say I am on the struggle bus this time of year. I am in a funk for a combination of reasons. I know it’s a hard time of year for A LOT of people and for far more serious reasons. So, I wanted to make a list of things that I will do to help me through this holiday season!
Quiet Times / Prayer – This should always come first. I am having to discipline myself (a process) to do this daily. I think it all boils down to trusting the Lord with EVERYTHING. My relationships, my family, the future, money, etc. This also means praying for those around me – those relationships or people that I am worried about. Pray FOR those relationships, interactions, conversations, etc. Pray about EVERYTHING.
Walking / Exercise – I know I keep saying I will do this, but it drastically helps reduce anxiety in general! Not to mention, it helps with any withdrawals I might be having.
Stick to a Schedule – I’m usually a nap person, but I have found that when I don’t nap, I don’t have as many headaches and I feel better in general!
Limit My Social Media Time – As much as I can, I have to put boundaries somewhere! So, I need to limit my time on social media, and some days, I may need to be off of it! You should consider this too – it will help you be more “present” in other activities and your daily life! Or, if you really need to, take a break altogether. GAME CHANGER!
Diet (and I don’t necessarily mean to “diet”) – Due to all the stress and withdrawals, I have found myself eating way more, not to mention all the holiday food! When I eat certain things, I feel terrible. I mean, you are what you eat. So, I REALLY have to watch it this time of year. Again, practicing self-control. Your diet plays such a HUGE role in how you feel – not just somebody with anxiety. I don’t think I am discovering anything you didn’t already know, but food does affect everyone differently. Cutting out sugar in general would be huge, and I am really going to try to limit my intake.
I feel like this might sound like a lot of
“rules!” After all, it IS the holiday season! But, I am trying to avoid a downward spiral, and these are the only ways I know how!I KNOW there are so many things I have to look forward to, and I will do my best not to take that for granted!!! I hope you can too 😊