I’ve gotta be honest – 2018 has not gone as I had planned or hoped (MY plans that is). I have been unemployed quite a bit this year, I have been to the dentist/endodontist over 20 times, was long distance with Max for 3 months, and was frankly just unmotivated and struggling – HARD. It’s hard to be struggling when I’m supposed to be encouraging others, which is what I desperately want to do. But I am human too. Things are not always happy & cheerful. I make mistakes & will continue to do so. I’ve cried more times than I can count. I was angry – angry at the circumstances and, frankly, angry with God. It just felt like my whole world was falling apart, and I was trying desperately to survive and be okay. But now, as I am looking back, with similar circumstances, I have a different perspective.
Everyone has struggles and hard times. In fact, many of them are WAY more severe than my circumstances. They say that if you could pick problems out of a jar, you would want to pick your own. How true is that? Because in the big scheme of this life, I will look back and it will just be a blip on the radar. It may be a tough time, a tough season of life, but that’s OKAY. For too long, I have planned and mapped it out my way and the Lord is finally showing me that my way is not always the right way. It’s been a very humbling and challenging lesson to learn. Now more than ever, I am having to learn to trust God and His timing, because His ways are better than mine. I spend way too much time living in fear trying to control my situation and change it. But the Lord kept showing up and is continually pursuing me this year. I always said I followed Jesus, but I only followed Him when I needed something or when it was convenient. Instead, I was choosing to follow and chase the things that the world has to offer. I have been learning what it means to TRULY follow Him and be obedient. Don’t get me wrong, this is a slow learning process, and I know it will take time (my entire life), but I am thankful – thankful because I know that He is changing me into the woman He wants me to be.
But you know what? This year isn’t over yet. And you know what HAS been great about this year? Flying this year by myself, taking a trip to NY to see my sweet Max, pool days, weddings, my launch of my blog!!!, overcoming fears at the dentist and other doctors, seeing family in Alabama and Fort Worth and SO many things coming up. But most of all, I’m thankful for the growing pains of this year – a year of learning, growing, accepting and trusting the Lord with my life and heart.
I hope you can see the good in things even when it feels like NOTHING makes sense or when you don’t understand your circumstances. Everything happens for a reason, and I firmly believe the Lord is a part of every single event in your life. There IS a purpose! SO go make some lemonade and find the good in things! It IS a choice! Each day is a NEW day, and know that you are LOVED and WORTHY!