Most of my close friends know I love performing. I mean, that was my major in college, so I guess you could say it's something I'm passionate about!! I’m used to being in a few shows a year, but I found myself desperately needing a break back in the Spring. I believe this is the first summer I haven’t been in a show in 3 years, and it’s actually been very nice.
I got to a place where I wasn’t having as much fun. That’s the whole point, right? Well, one of them. My head and heart were not “in it." I know many theatre people might have the same feelings from time to time. Financially, emotionally, mentally, personally - life was throwing crazy curves my way! My circumstances were not ideal, but I wanted to also re-examine MY intentions.
Was I doing this for the approval? The attention? Isn’t that one of the reasons people perform - they enjoy being someone ELSE and escaping their own life? Insecurity? Partially, yes. But there were things about ME that I wasn't okay with, and before I pretend to play another character, I needed to look at my own. I also do theatre because I love it & have a passion for it, but I had forgotten WHY.
In the spring, when my anxiety and depression were high, I really wanted time for myself, to figure this out. I have always said this and will continue to say it: I've always had to work VERY hard on my voice. Some people are born naturally gifted, and it comes to them so effortlessly. But, it’s been a harsh realization for me.
I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this - I needed the break (& still do). When the right show comes along, and if I happen to be cast, I will be in it wholeheartedly! It’s good to take a step back and remember WHY you do things. My thoughts were so clouded at the time - I didn’t have the JOY! Some tough lessons were learned, but I’m so very thankful!
I LOVE being on stage, but sometimes, you have to take care of you and focus on that - & it’s OK!! Of course, on social media, everything comes across as “perfect," but it’s far from that, my friends.
I have found that when I don’t really take downtime, I get overwhelmed, stressed and don’t think as clearly.
These are 5 things I am focusing my energy on this summer!
1. Quiet time / prayer
2. Learning new music (*Ahem* Mean Girls, Caleb + Kelsey, Carrie Underwood to name a few!)
3. Reading - I highly recommend Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst!
4. Working - every little bit helps :)
5. Quality time with my hubs, friends & family
I hope you are taking care YOU! Take time to REST and celebrate how far you have come. Every little step counts! I have needed this reminder and hope it will encourage YOU!
Y'all have a great weekend and STAY HYDRATED!