It's been kinda quiet on here recently, and for a good reason. I launched my blog in late January, and to be honest, this year has thrown me some major curveballs and has not been that great so far. I became mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. This picture is the reality of how I look, and NOT Instagram perfection. A true naked face - blemishes, imperfections & all! The rest of my pictures are super colorful and cheerful, which is what I normally want to show - the BEST version of me. But that’s not real. I thought about holding back and continuing on silently, but that’s exactly the opposite of what I’m encouraging others to do!
If you didn’t already know, Instagram is not reality. I don’t want mine to become this “picture perfect” thing that I have made it out to be. The truth is that I’m finally on a path of healing for the first time ever.
Of course, everyone wants you to think they have the picture perfect life. Why wouldn’t they? But I have been struggling, and THAT’S OKAY.
I can’t count how many times I have been to the dentist this year alone due to never-ending pain. On top of that, I’ve faced other medical issues as well, but that IS life! Financially, it has been extremely hard, but I know things will turn around soon. Max has been in New York a lot recently, which has been so exciting! With all that has been going on, plus the distance factor, it can be quite a challenge. I think we are managing it quite well and learning a lot in the process. The biggest thing we have learned is to draw a circle around ourselves. Instead of focusing on what you need, want, and desire from your spouse, focus on what you are doing that YOU can change to help love, serve and respect your spouse. It’s a game changer!
With everything that’s gone on lately, I felt like I had reached rock bottom. Feelings of insecurity, low self-worth, anxiety, and hopelessness plagued my thoughts daily. What I have realized in the past two months is that all of this pain and anxiety that I’ve dealt with is for my PROGRESS. The Lord is teaching me so much, and I am, for the first time, trusting in His plan instead of mine. I had to step away from many things and say no, because I need to take care of myself first. Daily time with the Lord, meeting with close friends, and a program at church are helping me put things in perspective and to (truly) trust the Lord. I am JUST getting started.
So, I’m in a season where I am focusing on what is really important - my relationship with Christ, my family, my future, and my health. Of course, I love fashion and will continue to do that when I can, but I want to keep it real!
On that note, I will be flying next week to NY to see my hubby (and visiting Cape Cod!), and it will be the FIRST TIME I WILL BE FLYING BY MYSELF!!! Yes, you read that right. If you’re just now reading this, flying was a crippling fear of mine and in the last few years, I have made great progress. Now, it’s time to do this thing by myself! I know I’m going to be nervous. I’m going to have fear. But I’m going to do it anyway.
So whatever you are going through - just know you are not alone. Surround yourself with people who love you. I will definitely keep the updates coming! I have a new kind of hope now, one that I haven’t had before. I may not have a whole lot of ANYTHING figured out right now, but I’m not worried because all of that will fall into place. Now, back to reality....